Love Can Wait: First Lesson

I've never been one to search for love. I've spent much of my teenage years and early 20s single. Neither happily or unhappily single. Just single. Just waiting for the right guy to come along, at the right time, the right place. Never actively searching. Just waiting.

I had a relationship with a guy that lasted way too long and was filled with heartache and pain. I realize now that that wasn't a true relationship at all. There was no commitment, no romance, no love. But being young and foolish I endured it thinking that the relationship would get better and grow. It didn't. It ended badly and subsequent events made the break-up even worse. However, the worst thing about the "relationship" was in the struggle to love someone else and give my all to him...I stopped loving myself. My life fell apart and I literally had no self-identity. Losing him made me feel like I lost my entire world. I realize now, that I had actually lost myself.

After that, I got my life back on track. Although I still felt lost and lonely, I was now focused on doing what was best for myself. I wanted to date and have a boyfriend, but I became so absorbed in myself that I became indifferent to the fact that I was single. That was a good thing. I achieved so much in a short period of time, merely by focusing on myself. Putting myself first. I became the number one priority--not him. It was my first lesson in my now personal maxim "love can wait."